Mary Ellen Miller,
You’re very kind but I’m sure Jessie has her sights set just a bit higher than an old busted up biker. Thanks for the shout out, you’re very sweet.
All the best.

Just be the wonderful person you are and enjoy the experiences life offers you.

So for me it happened when I stopped trying so hard and when I met someone that loved doing the same kind of stuff as me.

I don’t know if this helps or makes it’s harder for you….

I think you fall in love when you are meant to fall in love. As long as you are out meeting people, you’ll be find. Just pay attention to yourself. When you feel a spark when you meet someone, that’s a clue. If you go on a date and there isn’t a spark, that’s also a clue. As Ray pointed out before, you can’t force it.

Follow your intuition and you’ll make the right decision.

This post actually struck a very deep chord in me. While it doesn’t apply to my love life, (all is good there) I have been banging my head against the wall in another area of my life. Reading this has made me realize that I need to quit “pushing against the struggle” and let that aspect go. If it’s that much of a struggle, maybe somehow my subconscious mind knows that it’s not in my best interest in the long run. Thank you!!!! Your honesty helped me see the truth.

As to my story – it’s a bit of a long one. It started when I ended a bad marriage, and after a year, decided it was time to start dating again. For some reason, every date felt like a struggle….every person was wrong in profound ways. I dated men who cried on the first date, (and he only cried when he talked about his ex girlfriend’s teenage daughter….creepy), to men who bragged about cheating on their ex-spouse, to men who told me that they didn’t really have temper or drinking problems, it was always the women who “provoked” them. After a particularly bad first date with a guy I was sure was downright dangerous, I casually mentioned to a friend, “I surrender. I’m done with dating. I’d rather be alone for the rest of my life, than be in a bad relationship”. Those were prophetic words. I did not have a single date for 5 years after I said that…..and there was a reason. Something inside me somehow knew that I was picking the wrong people, and I needed to fix that before entering a relationship. At the end of the 5 years, I moved to LA and started getting asked out a lot. It was like the flood gates opened. Hmmmm….maybe moving to LA was necessary for me to find the person I was supposed to be with?

I met my spouse through online dating, (yes, you read that right) and it wasn’t all fireworks and romance in the beginning. In fact, it was the opposite of previous relationships. Most of my other relationships were filled with romance and grand gestures in the beginning….until the flaws started showing up. This relationship started very slowly, almost more a friendship, but grew over time. The thing that struck me more than anything was that although the heart-pounding romance was not there in the beginning, there was always a comfort. It was almost a sense of peace. The relationship continued to grow steadily and still does, (we celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary this year).

I am in full agreement with Deepok. If it is that much of a struggle, then something is wrong. Perhaps there is some experience you need to have before you can meet “the one”. Maybe “the one” is living in a different city right now, and you won’t meet him till a few years down the road. Regardless….I do believe that sometimes the “struggle” feeling is telling you now is not the time. Let it go. Love yourself, and the love will come to you eventually. Just my 2 cents, and feel free to ignore it, but trust what your gut is telling you.